Yes, and...

I have a friend who has taken up a hobby that she has found life changing: improv. Improv is an abbreviated form of improvisation. Most people who engage in improv are part of a group. But Robin has taught me that improv is not simply a theatrical exercise; it is a different way of responding to life. “It’s simple,” she assures me. “The primary rule of improv is that instead of saying yes, but… you always say yes, and…”

Whenever we say yes, but… we diminish the strength of the yes to the extent that it can disappear altogether: Did I hear that you celebrated Christmas with your mother-in-law in New York City? Yes, but it was not New York City, it was Buffalo, and it wasn’t Christmas, it was New Years, and it wasn’t really my mother-in-law, it was her college roommate and it wasn’t exactly a celebration, it was more like an extended hospital visit.

Now think of the Christmas story and this question posed to Mary: Is it true that you and Joseph gave birth to a son in Bethlehem and angels said he would bring peace to the world? Yes, but it was not in Bethlehem, it was actually in a barn outside the town, and the angels didn’t really tell us he would bring peace to the world, the angels told some shepherds who told us, and he is not actually Joseph’s son, but we’re not talking about who really is. You can see how the Christmas story told with a yes, but… would hardly have merited the joyful celebration that causes grown men to dawn striped bath robes and pretend to be shepherds before hundreds of people.

It is easy to tell the story of your life with a yes, but... That’s because no experience measures up to its supposed ideal. Straw-filled feeding troughs can’t compete with soft-mattressed cradles. An empty barn is heartbreakingly lonely compared to the ideal of family all around. There is always the mood-souring inconvenience, the no vacancy sign on the place you might rather be, the good reasons to be anxious, frustrated, or guilty about yourself. String enough of these considerations after a but and eventually the but becomes so big that the joy of the yes disappears beneath it.

The obstacles we encounter always come as potential threats to a vital spiritual life because they diminish how deeply we engage the moment and reinforce the perception that we are trapped. By diluting our zest for living, they weaken our immune systems, make us more prone to illnesses of body and mind, and push our relationships into the shallows of pleasantries and obligations.

God brings the improvised miracles of his working into our real lives, not some imagined perfection. The story of God entering the cosmos, the world, the town, the person, the manger reveals that the path to spiritual vitality is yes, and... And implies a pattern of working that is unfolding if I am willing to look through the lens of that little word. Yes, God is working in my life and here are the ways I see God working and here are all the possibilities that are opening up and here are the options I have for responding and these are the steps I am going to take toward God.

Becoming a yes, and… person doesn’t happen through guilt or inspiration or prayer. It happens as we practice telling the story of our lives in a way that opens us up to the pattern of God’s working. For each of our lives is a kind of Christmas story, an account of how God has entered into our lives. While every story is a unique miracle, the structure of the telling is the same: it is full of and’s.
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.
(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes,
And laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

So it is Christmas. And you have read these thoughts. And you are pondering your story. And…